"I WILL knit the perfect sweater! I WILL! I SHALL!"
I have made a pledge to knit my boyfriend Bill the "perfect sweater," and while the thought of perfectly executing (or the attempt at least) is very appealing to me, apparently miles of stockinette stitch are not.
Although I enthusiastically purchased the pattern and the yarn, I am finding it hard to make it to that crucial juncture where it gets interesting (e.g. color work begins, you change fibers, it's time to shape the waist, divide the front and back, etc). This is entirely my fault (the sweater nestled right next to my coffee table right now).
I've also made the decision to knit both of the sleeves at the same time on the same circular needles. This decision was really less of a decision and more of a realization. I'm pretty sure Bill is sick of hearing me whine "I HATE knitting this sleeve...I HATE IT!" when I've started the second sleeve (see here for my dramatics of knitting a 2nd anything).
To make it through the tedium (that I've chosen) that is knitting the body of a bottom-up, primarily stockinette sweater, I tend to make up weird little games and stories to keep it interesting. I'll invent a villain who whose evil plans would be ruined if the body reaches 13": "Drat!" my imaginary 80's cartoon villain will cry, "I never dreamed you'd escape my evil clutches!" Or I'll place a bet, challenging myself to reach a certain number of rounds or inches before a certain time, or before a Bill does something predictable like showering or telling me about some cringe-worthy post he saw on reddit.
And then of course there is regular method of getting through that stockinette desert: knitting and watching tv at the same time. I know this might sound like the most boring and depressing Saturday afternoon ever, but I promise it doesn't if you are truly a compulsive or dedicated knitter (or are grieving, pregnant, or just kind of want to be still). I love knitting, so judge me if you will. But, if someone were to tell me that's how they spent their day (watching tv and knitting), I'd like to think I'd reply with a genuine "Being completely still and knitting? That sounds like heaven."
I've seen people (and by people I mean fully grown adult males) bring knitting to live music events (and I'm talking LOUD AND ABRASIVE music), so knitting is cool, and don't tell me that you don't love that cowl I made you.
ANYWAY, I usually combine my weird nerdy little game with compelling tv or horror movies (nervous hands=faster knitting...as long as your knitting doesn't tighten up when you get scared!). I find that the very best tv/movies for the purposes of getting a lot of stockinette mileage are tv/movies with subtitles. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm probably telling myself that watching tv isn't as bad if you're also reading (and then I probably pat myself on the back, feeling victorious that I can accomplish so many stationary tasks simultaneously).
So here I am, about to strap myself in to another session of media/yarn consumption, trying to effortlessly create a perfect sweater, and I can't help but think that all of this multi-tasking and game-playing is all in the pursuit of some kind of perfection. But ultimately nothing, particularly not a hand-knitted garment, is perfect (even samples can have their quirks); and nobody can be a superhero all of the time. I guess all we can do is enjoy the projects that we take on, and know that if ennui sets in, we can always count on our own weirdness and creativity to make something monotonous into a battle cry: "By the power of Grayskull" indeed.
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